I’ve been in contact with The Knat a few times since April, but never anything substantive.
Great to hear and chat with Bella, moving in with Claudia and working/studying like a Jamaican. I wonder where she gets that from?
Things are actually going a little better than I’d anticipated, here in Linhai. Of course these could be the “Honeymoon Phase Daze”, but as long as I don’t let the little things get me, I’ll be groovin’.
It’s like when I was complaining about people (alcoholic Canadian roommate, mostly) and the chaotic life one night in Saigon, and I finally had to check my shit: “For all the headaches we create, life is far better than millions have it. We are blessed to have all the things we have, yet we always LOOK FOR headaches where none truly exist.” Even at my “worst”, two weekends’ ago AND again last weekend with some semi-serious shits from some too much greasy food in the previous two weeks, or feeling like I’m banging my head against this pervasive wall of ignorance, I find I need to step back and be thankful.
I live in a relatively safe country. I don’t feel fear or worried about being shot, imprisoned or ridiculed at any time. And if they are calling me names, I don’t understand ’em, so even more reason to smile.
In a world of plenty, there are too many who insatiably want more, while millions more go without.
I know too many highly educated people who are shackled to a bottle, be it Hennessy, Kettle 1, or Valium or Vicodin.
Then there are those who are mentally trapped within depression or eating disorders or other chemical imbalances. Through no fault of their own, and most would NEVER wish anything like it not even on their worst non-friend.
I hope you, Ramón and all you know are appreciating the fleeting beauty that each day presents. It’s been raining for nearly a week straight, and I remember how last year’s El Niño BS kept the rains here (Hangzhou) for nearly three months. I got lucky, though, able to escape TWICE to sunnier spots of this amazingly fucked-up, majestic country and save my sanity.
However, twice my plans to visit a German kid, Lex, in Thailand have fallen through. I met him and a bunch of teens and early 20-somethings in one of Christchurch, New Zealand’s cooler (remaining and rebounding) hostels, Nov. 2011. Unfortunately, his expanding two-year plans to travel and explore a life in Photography was cut short two months in when his mother finally told him of his father’s recent cancer diagnosis. Literally a few days after he’d left, they’d received the bad news. After much deliberation, we took him to the airport two days later. Cancer had rapidly ravaged two of his other family members and his father was gone less than three months after he’d returned.
On one hand, he was upset his mother waited more than a month to tell him. Yet, on the other hand, he was thankful that he had had those extra 30-45 days traveling around New Zealand and experiencing what he had. Heaven knows, we never know or may not have the opportunity to see things a second time around.
He returned to his original plans of Military (pilot) training/studies, all but setting Photography aside. Still, he earned the opportunity to study in Bangkok, and right now he is on a three-week break; visiting the Philippines and other parts of this intensely beautiful, culturally rich and tasty region. We were tentatively set to meet up this weekend in Saigon, but prices skyrocketed and O/W flights were nearing 18 hours, with most of that as layovers. With only a 3-day weekend, I had to cancel.
Demás tells me Aléjandro, the puss, is afraid of Honeymooning in Costa Rica because of stories of spiders “everywhere”. I recommended Machu Picchu, and anywhere else of childhood fantasy or dreams as soon as humanly possible. She was saying how their current programs, (while not too terribly financially lucrative, offer great benefits and certifications vital for their next stages of life); have them married to 6-week summer programs for the next two years or so.
I advised squeezing in a trip somewhere whenever fiscally feasible and definitely planning for longer more relaxed trips, when time and money allow.
One thing I didn’t advise was, perhaps taking separate trips, if they have conflicting interests, schedules, dreams or ideas. This only, JUST NOW, came to mind, as I recall Ian, this 78-year-old British man I had the pleasure of traveling with in 1997; hiking Machu Picchu and tripping through Lake Titicaca and Bolivia.
“I’ve always wanted to do this trek,” he’d said over a campfire one night. “But, as my wife was afraid to fly, I never have.”
They’d gone to plenty of sights in Europe, over land or sea, but many of Ian’s physically adventurous dreams entailed flights to the Americas, India, Africa and other parts.
“My wife died last year, and this was my number one destination,” Ian said. “This is my very first time traveling without her.”
While I love that romantic notion of experiencing all things NEW, with your partner/family, too many wait and it never happens.
Andrés always wanted to do so much with his wife, Katiana, and/or with her and their kids. They, for all intents and purposes, are divorced and, while they shared perhaps 1,000s of new things in their 18 years together, I know there are at least 300 places and things they’d always wanted to do but never did.
Therefore, setting all this idyllic sharing aside, wanting “joint adventures” with our #1, Besties or significant other, the reality is, we can’t always get what we want, but we can try sometimes to get what we need. (ya lo sé – the Rolling Stones)
On the other foot, convincing Alé to get his silly ass to Costa Rica and overcoming his fears TOGETHER with Demás’ help and laughter (all hopefully VIRALLY caught on film) would also be a very powerfully bonding experience. “Through sickness, and in health…spiders that lay their eggs in your scalp, only to hatch while you sleep…”
I suppose, too, occasional separate trips might drive a wedge between (separate memories) or may pull a couple closer together (individual space and mutual trust), a la “Absence make the heart grow fonder…”
OK, enough psycho-bable for one rainy afternoon.
More on The Knat next time…
Paz,
Abrazos,
originally emailed 2016 from China – Edits July 2025 CNX, Thailand names have been changed to protect the…
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