For those of you with pre-Toddles, you may wish to skip to the last 13 mins [1:10.00 – 1:22.44] of this outstanding discussion with Russell Brand. Fantastic parenting advice for “What to Expect When The Terrible 2s Arrive”.
Also, another little Brudda, Lui, sent a clip on “The Fourth Turning” discussion which I’m currently still reviewing, yet Brown’s mentioning of “Grounded Theory” – Barney Glaser and Anson Strauss Uni of Chicago 1950s, [min 42 – 50:55], which leads into the Compassion Smack Down] resonated when I was watching Brown and Brand again.
https://faculty.babson.edu/krollag/org_site/craft_articles/glaser_strauss.html
From Sat. July 9, 2022 | Re-VIEWED x3 | Notes and My Comments – please forgive the format if this write-up; these are basically notes for me to expound upon in greater details later.
TAKE – AWAYS from:
Brené Brown’s Vulnerability and Power – Under the Skin with Russell Brand
Generosity – Service – Connection
13 – What’s NEEDED and Brown’s Definition of POWER
Voices of Reconciliation
Power is NOT finite – It’s limitless and, when shared, it grows.
Power is Relational
22:25
Weaponize vulnerability, fear and uncertainty, DIVIDE them in order to Deliver an enemy they can blame for their pain.
Unless you have a self-aware and enlightened populace
25:15
Nostalgia = we look back to a yesterday that NEVER WAS.
27:22 – 27:48
People suffering from injustice now – “You got stuck in between that Political Realm and that Spiritual Realm – serving 45 years in jail for selling pot when the White folks are selling pot and making $45 million a year. What about all the casualties that need attention NOW?“
31:46
Pain that is not transformed will always be transmitted.
39:55
I can find the face of God in anyone.
41:08
I can find God in you. I can find love in you. But, I’m going to find you accountable for what you’ve done, while I’m loving you.
The Compassion Smack Down | 42:00 – 50:55
In searching through Data of those who were the most COMPASSIONATE, we looked, and asked
What did these people share?
Not spirituality – people that had compassion all shared having
Boundaries Like Steel –
Ground of Theory – Barney Glaser and Anson Strauss Uni of Chicago 1950s
https://faculty.babson.edu/krollag/org_site/craft_articles/glaser_strauss.html
Grounded Theory
In sociology they propose that the roles of theory is to:
* to enable prediction and explanation of behavior
* to be useful in theoretical advance
* usable in practical applications
* guide research on behavior.
“Theory is sociology is a strategy for handling data in research, providing modes of conceptualization for describing and explaining” (p. 3).
—————– —————– —————– —————–
Looking for patterns and themes within Data – In this way they can see
Predictable Things from researching Data
Death in Children Studies – 43:00 – 45:00
Brown’s Team Studied Death in Children to Learn Predictable Patterns or Behaviors in order to PREVENT these tragedies ~
The children KNEW they were dying and even more scared because NO ONE mentioned it. By trying to spare them pain of the inevitable, they perhaps created MORE STRESS in what everyone knew but failed to confront.
This, again, is where Logotherapy can be of vital assistance. Within acceptance and confronting death HEAD ON, those children would have been better
1. respected
2. able to prepare
3. celebrate last months/days
4. go out with a better sense of SELF and WORTH
It wouldn’t need to be part of every discussion – no, “This may be my last time singing with my three best friends….” Or, trying to make false memories – FOR THE LIVING – of this young person’s “cheated life”.
Instead, celebrating the things done, the people shared past and present, will become a greater part of survivor’s futures, and a more positive engagement in their loved ones last days.
More people might WANT to visit, without as much fear avoiding Elephant in the Fuckin Room!!
How terrifying it must be for those millions going to that Deep Light Beyond and not having Closure, True Peace and Connections with those who have been their lives?!!
Almost seems like a SECOND DEATH –
Definition of Compassion –
saw humanity in everyone
at oneness
reached out to everybody
~ Incredibly boundaried people ~
46:00 – 50:57
Do you believe that people are doing the best they can?
Picture someone whom you feel is NOT doing the best they can –
What if God came down and said, “[S]he is doing the very best they can right now.”
Resolution:
Continue to help with a loving, non-judgmental heart, OR stop helping. Because helping through hatred is not working.
I would have to stop being angry, and start grieving the loss of missing the sister I needed in my life. And I would try to love her, but have some boundaries about what I’d allow in front of my kids.”
It’s very hard to be compassionate to others when they are hurting us.
“My life is better when I assume they are,” Steve, Brené’s husband’s response after some deliberation [50:54- 50:57]
—————–
51:45
I can’t live in the pollutedness of anger.
53:50
If you have NO connection to anything larger than you – it doesn’t work
55:
Dust in the Wind
55:18
Spirituality – the belief in the inextricable connection between Human beings; something that’s grounded in Love and goodness.
For me, it’s God, for my Dad it’s fishing – Nature.
Yet, not everyone reaches this – those who have no faith, it;s the bleakest existence.
57:08
True Transcendence – I can live beyond that I’m an individual – there is a connection between all beings. That Individualism is a TEMPORARY ILLUSION –
The truth we are ONE – we are inhabited by the very same consciousness framed differently within our “individual”
The Gospel of No Faith
Results from Domestic Violence Victims Data:
Those who left felt – “He is doing the very best they can right now.” But it’s time to go!! For the benefit of my children and I, we GOTS ta GO!!
Being outside of my integrity = reacting in harsh judgments, helping with negativity, hate or condescension.
Boundaries – Here’s what’s OK, and here’s what’s NOT OK.
“It’s OK to be angry, but it’s not OK to bang your fists and be otherwise obnoxious.”
1:02.48
“When you avoid conflict to create peace with other people, you start a War within.”
1:05.00
No Self-Rightousness
No Disclaimers
These get people on their BEST DEFENSIVE Behaviors, when we need to be honest, open, and use Compassion Smack Down Theory ~
1:07.25
Wisdom Lives in the Birth Canal
It comes through labor:
Physical
Emotional
Spiritual
Things that make the most impact come from major moments of DISCOMFORT scared SHITLESS –
1:10.00 – 1:22.44
Choice Theory Parenting
Backsliding – AVOID this at all costs – When we backslide we teach little ones the wrong messages.
In my life as a Mentor/Teacher – I always try giving the student the options – and THEY DECIDE their path. EX: In dealing an unruly scholar: “Johnny, I hear you, however, right now we’re working on our Body Paragraphs, and you have four choices,
- Wait five minutes, working on your Thesis Statement [TS], I’ll be right with you
- Take a break – the Bathroom Pass is available
- You can work with Angela, she needs help on her Artwork, and nearly everyone has requested your help with their Art….OR
- I will write you a pass to discuss your issues with the Guidance Counselor or Dean.
Yet, Johnny, I hope you remain here helping Angela or working on your TS, as I’m almost done here, and will be with you in five.
In this way, the Scholar nearly always chooses one of the more positive options. They DON’T wish to be separated from the class – that goes against Herd Mentality – and youngsters rarely want to be “singled out” especially for negative things.
However, if things are too explosive, and the child can’t remain [lose of face] or some other extenuating circumstances, that choose to maturely depart; go to the bathroom, get some water or vent a bit before returning to address the situation.
Often children act out due to frustrations they can’t verbalize, or confusion or Writer’s Block, among a plethora of reasons. It’s my task to allow them to CHOOSE which path they will take. These are Life-Lessons that hopefully remain; walking away briefly or choosing the less volatile options in future confrontational situations.
In this example, I try to compliment scholar as everyone has strengths which I constantly try to accentuate.
No! I don’t have children, but using Choice SmackDown Rationale, I’ve been able to help rather than drive wedges between a scholar’s struggles with materials OR me, obviously not liked by everyone – and get them on a path of learning in socially acceptable ways.
1:14.14
Start Teaching Empathy
Maintaining External Composition
You have to stop the physical actions – It’s OK to feel that Chimp Energy
Developmentally you WANT them to act and react the way they’re normally supposed to but, at the same time, by setting up strict boundaries we’re inadvertently modelling “giving in” they learn to PUT OUT or otherwise give in when rewarded with that “I want it. I want it.” Mantra and we, as adults say, “Fuck it! OK, already, just STOP, already!!”
Therefore, my take-away from this last portion: Be firm, yet understanding. Back up your positions [not calling them threats, because when stated properly there usually are far more positive options than negative ones], but also remember to be understanding and forgiving.
Love me some Brené Brown!!
Do Epic Shit 