From Tuesday, December 28, 2021
Luxor – West Bank PsOV
Power in Teamwork – Men Can’t Do it Alone
Nabil’s World
Nabil works at the hostel, among three other jobs and operations he handles. He came to the train station very early in the morning, after calling me several times from pre-boarding to its 3-hours late arrival at 7:30 a.m.
While talking with Gerdi and Oli, German friends as he’s been assisting Nabil and hostel/hotel for years, I semi-invited myself to their dinner at Nabil’s house. We’d been talking about our favorite foods and cafes, and I’d mentioned loving this area’s Hibiscus tea, locally known as Karkadeh.
“Come to my house later and my wife makes the best Karkadeh,” Nabil said while Gerdi and Oli finished their late breakfast and Nabil introduced the Hookah. Apparently, Gerdi’s a huge fan of Sheisha – but only the fruit-flavored ones.
“Is it customary to bring something?” I’d asked Gerdi and Oli some hours later as we were walking to Nabil’s while the latter animatedly continued another conversation into his old cell in the hotel’s lobby.
“We have it covered,” Gerdi, who visits periodically every year, said.
On the way she showed me the best places to get honest pricings at corner stores, the best falafels and cafes.
PREVIOUS NIGHT
I was already familiar with the falafel place’s damned good cappuccino with Hamadi, local EVERYTHING’s man, the night before. I’d connected with Hamadi through two American women, Mikki and Regina, in Siwa Oasis. They were finishing up their tour of Egypt, having lived “off the grid on Crypto these last two years.” I was fortunate enough to meet them chillin for seven days in the Salt Pools near Egypt’s border with Libya. They were loving their last countries in Africa before moving to The Yucatán where they’ll build a house over these next couple of years.
“When you get to Luxor,” Mikki advised, “stay on the West Bank, it’s much quieter, fewer hawkers, and it’s closer to the tombs and some other sites.”
“You have to look up Hamadi, he was our guide and driver for all our trips.” Regina added. “He knows everything there is to know about the area and if he can’t personally get things for you, he’ll find the best people for the job.”
So, after biking to the Valley of the Kings and Valley of the Queens and some other sites for two days, I’d remember their recommendation and called Hamadi.
“That’s where Mikka and (Hamadi could never wrap his tongue around Regina’s name) ate their falafels every single day. That was their table.”
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However, Gerdi likewise mentioned it for the best falafels as well, but she preferred better coffee at Al Arabi’s Coffee shop, at the fork in the road, leading to Nabil’s house.
“I met Nabil 30 years ago when he was working at the Nefertiti Hotel with Ahmed’s father and grandfather. Ahmed, tall IT kid of 22 or 23, who’s big little son, perhaps 6, was being man-handled by his uncle who was only perhaps four years older. Reminiscent of David and Adrián in Quito Norte?
However, earlier in October 2020, Papa Ramsess Hostel unexpectedly died leaving families high and dry.
“I was sitting up late talking with Ali,” Nabil told me my first day in Luxor. “He was my best friend, we’d work together all day, the hotel was pretty successful, and many nights we’d discuss other things sometimes all night.” This is a common local past time; men sitting up all through the night talking.
I’d seen it with Fahd and his guests or friends at his most amazing Santa Rya Camp, in Siwa. I’d wake up in other parts of Egypt to men, who don’t drink alcohol, would often tell the same stories over and over again in the gathering spaces outside or living rooms. Or perhaps discuss struggles and plans?
Nabil and the community were devastated when Ali passed. He was only around 52.
Ahmed, his eldest son, whose main job is at the very famous Oum Khousom and arguably the absolute best cafe, on the East Bank, was suddenly left with all these responsibilities.
Ahmed rushed off to that job after serving me breakfast, two hard-boiled eggs, which I’d save for after my daily fast Monday morning. In actuality, Ahmed and the women – widow and perhaps Ahmed’s wife were teaching his younger brother, the same Bully Boy how to “…be of service” in between choking out his little nephew.
* * * * * *
“I first came to Egypt in 1987,” Gerdi continues, “but met Nabil and Ali – aka Papa Ramsess Hostel – connections a few visits later.”
“This is a Middle Class house we’re in,” she began narrating after saving me from Nabil’s gimpy brother’s solicitations of “authentic” Arts and Craps outside two-storey house.
“Sorry about that,” Gerdi said, politely directing me away from disabled brother. “He got hurt a few years ago, but none of that stuff is worth your time.”
Ushering me passed rooms on the first floor, upstairs.
“Usually, guests aren’t brought up here. These are their private quarters meant only for immediate family,” she continued the tour of their two-storey house. “That side room (Receiving Room) downstairs is where guests usually visit. You’re lucky to be up here.”
“Whenever you go into any local’s home, they’ll ALWAYS be a TV on.” It was only then I’d noticed it at the other end of the living room. Fascinating. Why not simply turn it off? Not one person looked at it nor complained of not hearing it our entire visit.
“I turned it down while you were being harassed by Nabil’s younger brother.”
He was showing me his rudimentary crafts, knickknacks he sells outside the house they all share. Since a motorcycle accident this man has had several operations, but his gait has never truly been fixed.
“If he could get a government job, he’d be set,” Nabil explained much later. “With his disability, they should hire him, but, it’s so hard to get one of those if you don’t know the right people.”
* * * * * *
Gerdi continues, “The women usually stay in the kitchen (I’m not sure they ate) as there is no set eating time. They eat when they’re hungry or feel like cooking, but they’ve prepared this especially for us since we were coming.”
The food is always great; everything fresh, from whatever they have in season, in bloom, on hand.
Gerdi’s tour of the house continued periodically throughout the 2-hour visit. “All those cows and animals enter the same way we did. It’s a trip to be here when they’re bringing them in through the Receiving Room!
Nabil went to get grass for them. I don’t know how it works, but he owns a small portion of a farm and when he comes back, there will be so much greenery mounting his motorbike you’ll barely even see him underneath it all.”
On Women and Breadwinners
“She’s very clever,” Gerdi says of Nadya, Nabil’s wife. “She knows some English and she’s great at calligraphy. But it took me a long time convincing her to pursue it. Now she’s getting prepared to teach it.”
I’m thrilled, yet disturbed that Nadya is an anomaly. “I wonder why they never think long-term. What would happen to the family if something happens to Nabil, like worse than his little brother’s maiming?”
Gerdi is also concerned with these added pressures put on men here when they refuse to accept their females’ abilities to contribute on varying levels and in a multitude of fields.
Nabil’s two girls, Bennu 10 and Sanura 8 who arrived about 20 minutes after we had, are learning English through Optimism and Pessimism Series – rudimentary proactive comics that depict brothers with completely different ways of looking at typical situations in everyday life. Bennu and Sanura proudly show me some from a pile of their books. They are dual lingual Arabic and English, with the latter grammar poor, but at least children can learn some greater vocabulary and spelling, as well as great Life Lessons on coping and critical thinking. Obviously, Optimism has greater outlooks and therefore he’s blessed with better things, while Pessimism seems to have the worst luck and the equally worst methods of handling situations.
You have to wonder, what will become of these two, and the other two nieces living here with their disabled father and even more from Nabil’s sister. She recently had her first daughter, with a 2-year-old curly-headed boy who is all bubbles with gifts Gerdi has brought all the children.
Nabil has three children. The eldest and only boy, Balaam* or Palin (renewal) 13, reveling in his roles forced to mature more rapidly as he’s been taking care of grandfather since grandmother passed away November 2021.
“He has a phone now.” his mother, Nadya, beams. “I miss him, but he’s stepping up nicely.”
About an hour later, “Her mother had a dream before he was born about Balaam,” Nabil retells, sweaty from bringing in fresh feed for his two massive cows in the back patio. Though we’d passed through bedrooms to the “balcony” trying to catch a glimpse of him on his overloaded motorcycle, we’d missed it. “It’s from the Bible, actually. We liked it, so we named him Balaam/Palin, which is not a common Egyptian name.”
I put two names because I had difficulties hearing the correct one?
The young teen, darker and with black curly hair speaks some English, a recipient of going to the German School, and having Nabil, his unlces [the disabled one and the one away working in a beach resort in Sharm el-Sheikh, as role models. You have to wonder, if he were to end up like his father, helping the females gain more education, ALLOWING wife to work, or will he be part of the traditional nuclear household, inevitably baring the weight of his two younger sisters’ families and those of his cousins, as well?
* * * * * * * * * * * *
After dinner, Gerdi proposes taking a walk to get some Sheisha.
“We had an extra special treat,” Gerdi says, Oli disappearing to the hotel to grab a sweater and Nabil taking a shower and eating back at house. “The women joined us to chat afterwards. That’s never happened before.”
I feel extremely fortunate to have had this unique glimpse into locals’ world.
“And don’t forget, we ate UPSTAIRS, in the family areas, not in the Receiving Room downstairs. I have only been up there a few times, so that was also very rare.”
Nabil, one of perhaps two breadwinners is responsible for about 15 people including one maimed younger brother and his two beautiful girls, his sister’s growing family, [toddler boy and an infant girl] whose husband is working at a hotel in Sharm el-Sheikh; six weeks there, one week here in Luxor.
So, I’m guessing hubbie #2 sends or brings money back for Nabil to manage since women are only here to bare children, cook and clean.
Truly archaic and short-sighted how they don’t dream of more. There are five female children in the room and if this generation doesn’t claw through to maybe the 20th century soon, so much more talent, intelligence and possibilities will be flushed…
AGAIN
~ End ~
edited Feb. 7, 2022 Shawn L. Carson –
shawn.carson@icloud.com
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